Writing was always incredibly cathartic for me, way back to the age of seven when I started writing poetry. At nine I started a diary, and after that, years of journaling. Then one day someone read my private thoughts and stories, purposely invading my privacy. I destroyed all my writings (so foolishly) and totally stopped the practice until my son was born. It's a shame, really, because in writing this blog, I can see how much it helps to put feelings down on "paper." I think writing about you, and remembering your life with us somehow helps. I have not been the slobbering mess that I and Jake thought I would be. I miss you terribly, but it's not a hysterical crying that I can get out of my system and get over; It's a lump in my throat, an ache in my heart. It's the feeling of an absence so deep that it reaches my soul. People might think it's silly, (the man who tried to teach you to juggle apples on a Friday night thinks it's ridiculous) but I don't care, because you were important. I never had a dog before and dog's really are a person's best friend. I talked to you, we had a routine, we comforted each other, it was something special, It grew and thrived over almost 14 years.
And, in the last year or so, we had "Yogurt Time." Well, it was a bad habit started who knows when, but after you first go sick it became a nightly ritual. I'd have my yogurt in front of the TV, while you waited patiently for me to finish, staring at me all the while. Once I did, I'd give you the cup and you would take it in your mouth, walk away from me, giving me the evil eye over your shoulder, in case I had any thoughts of taking it back. And then you would sit happily licking away at every last speck. I had no idea how you got your snout in there to reach everything, but you'd invariable get a yogurt halo around your face. If you look close it can be seen in this picture, that's why I chose it. Soon after, I'd say "time for bed Allie," and you'd follow me into my room. It was our routine, and I miss it.
I couldn't think of buying yogurt for two weeks. Yesterday I was in Publix and Chobani was on sale, I'd say it was our favorite, but honestly, we all know YOU would eat anything. The rows and rows of yogurt flavors made me want to cry. But then I thought about all those great memories and my silly little dog who just loved food so much he almost killed himself with a chicken! I told Jake the story and it mad him laugh, picturing crazy mom in the yogurt isle with tears in her eyes. I miss you buddy, and I couldn't go to sleep without thinking about you and yogurt. Rest easy:)
And, in the last year or so, we had "Yogurt Time." Well, it was a bad habit started who knows when, but after you first go sick it became a nightly ritual. I'd have my yogurt in front of the TV, while you waited patiently for me to finish, staring at me all the while. Once I did, I'd give you the cup and you would take it in your mouth, walk away from me, giving me the evil eye over your shoulder, in case I had any thoughts of taking it back. And then you would sit happily licking away at every last speck. I had no idea how you got your snout in there to reach everything, but you'd invariable get a yogurt halo around your face. If you look close it can be seen in this picture, that's why I chose it. Soon after, I'd say "time for bed Allie," and you'd follow me into my room. It was our routine, and I miss it.
I couldn't think of buying yogurt for two weeks. Yesterday I was in Publix and Chobani was on sale, I'd say it was our favorite, but honestly, we all know YOU would eat anything. The rows and rows of yogurt flavors made me want to cry. But then I thought about all those great memories and my silly little dog who just loved food so much he almost killed himself with a chicken! I told Jake the story and it mad him laugh, picturing crazy mom in the yogurt isle with tears in her eyes. I miss you buddy, and I couldn't go to sleep without thinking about you and yogurt. Rest easy:)